Fear
I have a fear of a career. Lately I have been wondering if I am heading in the right direction. I want a career that I will like and enjoy, and lately at work I have been hating it and wanting a different job. What makes a career enjoyable? I have with this fear of career a fear of not being able to provide for my family. I have always wanted to be able to give the thing the my wife or kids need and not worry about money. This is something that makes me want a good career that pays well, not one that makes me happy.
The one thing that I don't fear is the fact that I know that I am going to be with Melissa and Jackson for eternity. It is one of the happiest thoughts that I have ever had. I know we are not there yet, but I know that we are going to get there soon.
I hope I haven't put the fear in you.
Love you all,
Justin
Trying Out the Video feature
My son Jackson has made me so happy. The last couple of days I have been working 12 hour graveyards. This means that I go to work, I come home and sleep, and then I do it all over again pretty much. I only got to see him for a couple hours each day. Today was a nice day for me just to be with him. We didn't do much today except for relax. It was nice to have the whole day with him. It is amazing how much he has already grown. I think that it is so funny how many different faces he has. I think that he is going to be a lot like me. I think that I have many different facial expression that are funny and that is how I show my emotions. Michelle already think that he has my "angry brow."
Tomorrow is going to be a great day. My aunt Stacey is in town from California, and we are getting together. We don't get to see her or her family very much. When we went to visit them last year it was such a blast. Stacey is the person that kind of got me started on this blog thing. She introduced it to my dad and then my dad started his and then I thought it would be a great way of having some sort of journal.Thing at the Smith family are going well. Nothing to complain about. I hope that people enjoy what I have to say, and I hope that I can get to the writing ability of my sister Michelle
See you on the flip side - Justy Roo
Going to Work
Wanting to go to work in the first place is a hard thing to want, but when you don't want to leave a baby and a wife it gets harder. I am currently working a graveyard and when you work at a hospital and it's in the middle of the night, you kind of have a little bit of time on your hands. I have been thinking about my baby boy and wanting to hold him so badly. I love my job and I enjoy what I do but there is nothing like being home with your family.
Jackson is doing great! He has been a little fussy but he has been so much better than I thought he was going to be. He really doesn't cry that much. He grunts and moves around a lot. The one thing that I thought that would be better is that he stays up through the night. I know that he would wake up but I thought that he would sleep a little more, but I can't complain. He now weighs 9 lbs 8 oz. which is a pound bigger from when he was born. He went in for another hearing test because he didn't pass the hearing test the first time. He passed it this time but only once. This is something that scares Melissa. This is because her family has some problems with hearing loss and she doesn't want her son to have the same problems and troubles.
Sleep sounds really good right about now. I am not really looking forward to working two more graveyards in a row. Hopefully some of thing make sense or maybe I should just stop and get some rest.
