Being a new dad, there is a lot of new things to learn. This kind of learning is something that is hands on, you can be taught but it doesn't mean anything in the real world. This fear is a fear of doing something wrong, a fear of taking care of a life. Jackson has had us diagnosing him as having colic, to having acid reflux back to colic. Him being sick or in pain is something that really scares me. This fear has had me wanting perfect health for him in exchange for my poor health. I think that dads are not as brave as the are, because I know that I worry and go crazy sometimes about Jackson.

I have a fear of a career. Lately I have been wondering if I am heading in the right direction. I want a career that I will like and enjoy, and lately at work I have been hating it and wanting a different job. What makes a career enjoyable? I have with this fear of career a fear of not being able to provide for my family. I have always wanted to be able to give the thing the my wife or kids need and not worry about money. This is something that makes me want a good career that pays well, not one that makes me happy.

The one thing that I don't fear is the fact that I know that I am going to be with Melissa and Jackson for eternity. It is one of the happiest thoughts that I have ever had. I know we are not there yet, but I know that we are going to get there soon.

I hope I haven't put the fear in you.

Love you all,
Justin